


Portals Are Not A Standard Method Of Transportation

by Kaoupa



Category: Persona 5, Persona 5 Strikers, Persona Series
Genre: Persona 5 Scramble: The Phantom Strikers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-10
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-16 17:36:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,242
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29953524
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kaoupa/pseuds/Kaoupa
Summary: How exactly do they get those items to them so quickly, anyways?
Comments: 6
Kudos: 44





	Portals Are Not A Standard Method Of Transportation

**Author's Note:**

> It’s totally possible that there’s an explanation for the absurdly rapid delivery time in Persona 5 Strikers - but I am only at the sixth Jail, and have yet to get it if there is an answer.
> 
> So, here’s a theory! One that explains nothing but at the same time, explains everything. You’ll see what I mean.
> 
> And the reason I haven't done much writing lately, if you're curious, is because I am working through Three Houses (yes, I am a latecomer to that fandom), and Persona 5 Strikers. These endeavors are both rather time-consuming.

As Ren Amamiya scrolled over his computer, the rest of the Phantom Thieves in the camper watched him carefully, as he slowly took the items from Sophia’s online shop (set up special for them) that he thought would be useful.

In this case, “the rest of the Phantom Thieves in the camper” translated to “Ren, Sophia, and Futaba.”

“So… how long do you think it’ll take this time? Five minutes? Two minutes?” Futaba asked as the shopping list was finished.

“Well, we’ll find out… everyone ready?” Ren asked.

“I think so! Guys, Joker’s ready!” Futaba replied, speaking into her phone (currently on a “group chat” function).

“ _ You got it, Joker! This is Panther, in position!” _

_ “Skull here, ready to rock!” _

_ “This is Fox, I am keeping a careful eye on my section.” _

_ “Queen here, keeping an eye out.” _

_ “This is Noir! I’m keeping a close eye out for any delivery trucks that show up!” _

RAP RAP RAP! Ren knocked on the top of the camper.

“Mona, you ready?” Ren yelled up to the roof.

“ _ I’ve been ready for the last ten minutes, Joker! The second you send that request, I’ll be on lookout for any delivery people!” _

Nodding, Ren turned back to the computer.

“Joker, are you certain that this is necessary? The expedited delivery service workers have done their jobs well for more than a week now, without any problems. I do not see why this endeavor is needed.” Sophia asked curiously, tilting her head as she watched him return to the computer.

“That’s exactly  _ why  _ we need to find out, Sophie! We get all our stuff delivered with that service in less than an hour! It doesn’t matter what we order, and it’s all super cheap! The expedited shipping costs for even one day with normal orders…” Futaba shook her head. “We’d have gone bankrupt days ago even with all our funds from Phantom Thievery. How the heck can they afford to do this? There’s no way it’s normal. Far as I can tell, there’s two options. Either they’re breaking the law with how hard they’re working people, or… there’s something about them we don’t know.” She grinned. “So, when they come… we’re going to see how they get here. We’re going to get a picture of their vehicle, their license plate, them… everything we can get, including their name, and then get it back to Zenkichi. And we’ll check out any bosses they have on our own time while the police investigate the company!”

Even out of her line of sight, Futaba could still “see” the tilt of Sophia’s head in puzzlement. “And if their actions are legal and there is simply something we do not know?”

Sophia’s question got Futaba to shrug. “Well… we’ll play it by ear.”

“How will you know if their operation is above the board or supernatural?” The AI questioned curiously.

“Well… if their car’s normal and all the license plates and stuff check out, and our questions about their company aren’t dodged… we can just investigate from there and assume they’re doing something illegal.”

“So… you are assuming that if you cannot explain how their delivery system works, it is likely supernatural?”

“...I guess so. Joker? Are we doing this today?”

“And… sent. Everyone, groceries should be getting delivered soon.” Ren spoke into the walkie-talkie, and got a chorus of affirmatives.

“All right, begin the operation!”

  
  
  


It was approaching the half-hour mark since the operation began. Futaba knew because she had been watching the clock for a large portion of that time. “Okay, guys. This is the approximate earliest point when the arrivals begin - that gold bar was an outlier.”

_ Well, it was definitely an outlier in price. Maybe they deliver the more expensive stuff faster?  _ Ann’s theory got several people wondering.

_ Sophie, have you noticed any deliveries that were exceptionally fast or slow, besides the gold bar Ryuji ordered?  _ Makoto asked.

Over Ryuji’s protests that he hadn’t expected they’d actually  _ get  _ a gold bar, Sophia spoke. “No. All of the deliveries came in the same approximate timeframe asides from the gold bar delivery. Roughly half an hour after they were ordered, to as late as three hours afterwards. But the gold bar order was also an outlier in price compared to typical orders for both us and other shoppers. Our typical orders for merchandise are mostly within standard parameters for price, and the few that passed into outlier levels were at most one standard deviation past the norm.”

_ So then we must make an expensive purchase to test our theory more carefully? Hm. There are numerous paint-brushes and paints that I have been wondering about purchasing... _

“Fox, get back to watching for that delivery-man or woman! They could be here any second!” Futaba ordered sharply.

Because the universe (or possibly Igor) loved irony, it was that exact instant that a “RAP RAP RAP!” noise came from the front door of the camper.

  
  
  


“Sign here, please.”

Sighing, Ren did just that as behind him, Futaba yelled at the Phantom Thieves of Hearts over the phone (and it would have had a weird effect on their public image, had the population of Japan seen an art school student somehow giving the impression of quivering over a phone because a 5’2 girl was shouting at Inari - sorry,  _ Fox,  _ about “ruining their stakeout with paintbrush talk”). “There you go, miss…”

The attempt at prompting the deliverywoman’s name was either ignored or missed. “Thank you! Now then, here’s your order…”

It was only at that moment, as he saw a woman who appeared to be only Makoto’s age casually picking up a crate the size of Sophia, that a new thought crossed Ren’s mind.

_ Maybe I should have tried to prove they were supernatural  _ first _... _

Then, the deliverywoman, before the eyes of the returning Thieves, deposited the crate in Ren’s arms, and his thoughts promptly changed.

_ Oh god, my back’s gonna break like a twig. _

As he staggered backwards into the trailer, Futaba ran to support him, and the other Thieves ran towards them. As the rest of her friends ran to support their leader, Makoto ran towards the now-retreating deliverywoman. “Ma’am! Er - how did you get here so fast? It’s been bugging us for days… and none of us saw a car coming!”

The young woman smiled mysteriously. “I apologize, miss, but our company’s methods must remain a secret.”

Not too deterred by the lack of information from asking a straight question, Makoto continued, over the background noise of Ren collapsing to the dirt as Ryuji, Futaba, and Yusuke struggled to set down their food. “Well… could you at least give me your company’s name, and yours? I… would hate it if nobody knew about how passionately and well you did your job!”

The deliverywoman actually stopped when she heard that, and turned around, beaming. “Oh! Well… as much as I do appreciate the offer, I’d prefer it if you didn’t spread our name around. Indigo Freightage prefers to keep the knowledge of our existence with a small number of private clients.”

“Well… could I at least get your name, ma’am?” Makoto asked further, mentally marking down the name of their transporter company in her mind for the upcoming investigation (which would cause several Japanese investigators to swear in court that it was indeed possible to make something from nothing, a few months later).

The young woman with pale hair smiled. “Please. Just call me Elizabeth.”

**Author's Note:**

> (And just so you know, the other deliveryperson is Theodore, and Margaret is the company president).


End file.
